Yesterday I was thinking about all those things that excited me immediately after college. Just one of those weird trips I make into the past. And I was surprised with what I found.
To be honest my excitement was that I was out of college. I lacked any sort of long term plans or perspectives. I was just living in the moment. That said I should agree with you that this lack of planning had a cost to it which I would pay later in life. More than the lack of plan… it was a critical lack of interest to conform to what others were doing. I just wanted to not learn anything anymore.
I had felt that my education or degree was not useful for me. Or that since I did not focus much on studies, I had no clue what should be my next steps. So clueless was the right word. But.. but something else was there..
There was excitement about the present. The job hunting… the feeling that I can take up the world… the excitement of a freedom where you could do anything.. all that existed along with a college like exuberance. The college like exuberance I still hold intact when I am put into new situations. Trying new things.. moving on to the next after one failure..
When I look back I wonder if I could have done things differently if I were to do some planning.. may be I would have… but would that also leave me less excited in my 50s. Because today at my 50s I feel I am beginning.. just starting on many things in my life.
When I did this exercise, I did feel my mistakes evident and reminding me stuff…. but I also figured that I was not tired… I figured that the excitement of the present is still with me.
Do I get low..? Of course yes.. that is called being human… but I still think I am 22 who just graduated. That for me is the excitement. There is so much to be done and I think whether you are 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 70… there is time to do so many new things.
And over these years one thing I picked up.. something that I did not focus much while in college… learning.. and continuous learning and teaching.. this is now part of my life… who would have thought.. back then.. I am excited to learn and I am excited to teach…