I am going through a phase where I am questioning what I think and do. Not everything but a lot. And why am I doing this? I think there are influences that I should be aware of and there are parts of my lie that need a bit more nurturing.
It is a long process, I would not call it painful as I am questioning myself and the answer is to myself. It is all well contained in a place where the intention need not be questioned.
I am not in any meaning quest in life. I am more in a state of stopping. A state where I feel there is a stagnation from which I need to get out. The only way I can do this is by questioning what I am thinking and doing.
The feeling of having thrown out of the bus, but you are yet not out of it. You are holding on to the rails. But you have a choice. To get back into the bus after you have changed what got you thrown out and carry on the same ride or just let go.
The bus is limited in its possibilities, but it sure has some destination or people in it think so. I can also feel like them. And of course, don’t ask a lot of questions. The other option is more free. It is also a bit risky.
I know I will survive the letting go. But I cannot act like I am still a passenger in the bus. The moment I let go, there is a separation drawn and that is where I need to question.
So I am sure I am going to be holding on to the railing for some time. Let me first ask myself those questions.
Categories: Random Musings